Part of succeeding in life is all about reaching new heights, right? If this statement is correct, I’m really hoping it applies to hair. Why? 20 straight minutes of gelling, spraying and backcombing yielded this look, which can only be described as a cross between the Cure, Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice and Nick Nolte’s mug shot.
You might be wondering what would cause someone to force her hair to undergo such agony. Only one thing creates such hairstyles: formal sorority recruitment. The five-day process includes everything from greeting potential new members in song to performing over-the-top skits, all in the interest of gaining new members. Not only is this one of the main times for sororities to recruit, it’s clearly a great time to debut brand new looks on 80s night.
Note that eyes have been blacked out to protect my fellow fashion victims.
My new ‘do received an interesting mixture of appraisals. Some sisters said it reminded them of their grandmas before a big trip to Atlantic City. Others postulated that if my look could talk, it would beg for a place in a mental institution. Most arrived at the conclusion that my hair looked like this guy’s.
Either way, I learned a valuable lesson during my sojourn in the land of bizarro hairstyles: messing up hair is easy, it’s the unmessing that proves difficult. I don’t think I’ll be visiting there again anytime soon.